i am not a fan

So, there’s a pretty overwhelming sense of uneasiness that sets in after dreaming (very vividly, too) about a situation in which things are just right – perhaps even the thing you want to be a certain way is just that way, and everything is amazing – then waking to find that in fact things are not just right, the thing is not that certain way and not everything is amazing.

Of course, I can choose to define what is ‘right’ or I can seek a better understanding of what is ‘right’, and depending on that understanding I may or may not feel better about this particular thing – but that doesn’t at all change the fact that a few moments prior to waking I was having a much more incredible day than when the day actually began.

Then there’s the fact that there are so many other things in my life for which I ought to be thankful for – I suppose if you put that one thing on one side of a scale, and everything else on the other, it might balance…

(well, I’m not sure about that…)

And then there’s the fact that there is another thing or two that matter much more than anything else… so, it seems I really don’t have anything to complain about.

Still pretty unsettled by all that, though…

‘Ciao,’ as Joss would say, -jb


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